


The very First Kiss

by carlyhope



Category: Twilight RPF
Genre: F/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-28
Updated: 2013-01-28
Packaged: 2017-11-27 08:18:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/659820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carlyhope/pseuds/carlyhope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He waited so long for that kiss but in the end it was worth it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The very First Kiss

He went to the audition because he was eager to meet the girl that stole his breath away in _Into the wild_.

 

In person she knocked him off his feet. Quite literally. Namely the moment when the director mentioned kissing. And then when they actually did it.

 

When the media got hold of the story they re-told it as though it was a Shakespeare play.

 

_He came. He kissed. He got the role._

 

But the truth was less spectacular and much more complicated.

 

The truth had more to do with anguish, insecurity, disappointment, elation, and grief.

 

The first time their lips touched during the audition the earth shook beneath him. He suspected an earthquake but no one else seemed to feel it so it must have been something else. When their lips connected for the second and third time his suspicions were confirmed, it was all her.

 

It wasn’t his first kiss. Not even his first on-screen kiss. But he had never been more nervous then at the moment the cameras started to roll and he heard _action_. And the reason for it was very Edward-ish. He couldn’t loose control. And he wasn’t sure he would manage. Universe really has a weird sense of humor.

 

When their lips met and her hands entangled in his hair and his control was packing to wave forever good bye he heard a voice in the back of his head screaming _This is not how it was supposed to happen!_

 

Pre-production was the most blissful he felt in a very long time. It was also the closest to hell he ever got. Because he had something amazing within his reach and he wasn’t allowed to bridge the distance. He didn’t know whether to call the situation cruel or ironic. Maybe a little bit of both.

 

They spent days and often nights talking about everything and nothing creating a world of their own. _Wait, wasn’t that a song?_ But then the reality came knocking and it wasn’t that their bubble burst but it thinned so much that it accepted all the “outsiders” easily. But sometimes when they were talking and their eyes would meet the world would disappear on him no matter where they were.

 

He found out they had a lot in common in the book department. She convinced him to read for her a few times and he also found out that his voice in combination with poetry brought her to sleep. And she was hard to wake up. So he just put her in his bed and crashed on the couch. Because he was a gentleman. And he liked his sanity all right. Thank you very much.

 

The first couple of times were an accident. When they moved their bonding to her house and she fell asleep on his shoulder, he carried her to her bedroom and her mom offered him the guest room. It happened so often they even started to refer to the room as his.

 

He liked her parents very much. They made him feel a lot like home. But they also made him miss his parents the more. He was still very grateful for their warm welcome.

 

Even after the filming was finished she was always there in a way. If not in person he would be asked thousands of questions about her and her character. The photo shoots weren’t helping either. The one for Vanity Fair gave him a hard time for weeks.

 

Literally.

 

And then there was the re-shoot, of course. It was like giving crack to a junkie. Or pouring salt into an open wound. It wasn’t very clever or overly pleasant. More like really stupid and bloody painful. But it was his job so he soldiered through. And kissing her wasn’t that bad. He had more problems with the letting go part.

 

He left the premiere and later told his mom it was because he couldn’t stand to look at himself on the screen. The truth was he couldn’t stand to look at them. They built something fake on something that was very real. And he had a hard time watching the results.

 

Because it physically hurt.

 

Never one to lie to himself he acknowledged early on that this fascinating girl got deep under his skin. Maybe even into his heart. And he wasn’t really trying to hide it either.

 

What he needed was to draw a line and not cross it. She apparently came to the same conclusion. So she built a wall. And he tried to respect it. But when faced with thousands of screaming fans and never-ending camera flashes, all they had was their bubble. They needed it to survive and there was no place for a wall in the bubble.

 

The matter was simple enough though, Bella was Edward's and Kristen wasn’t his. He just had a hard time remembering it sometimes. The problem was, she had a problem with remembering too. And it wasn’t helping any. It was turning his life in a rollercoaster ride.

 

The two things he couldn’t wait for and why he was really looking forward to the end of the promotion was getting rid of the _sex hair_ as some people called it and to put some distance between them.

 

It's not that he wanted to be away from her. Quite the opposite. But he needed it. To keep the last remains of his sanity. And it really was helping. At least with his head. His heart seemed like a lost cause at that moment so he let it be.

 

When he got home he slept for almost three days straight and he basically just did nothing. And it felt wonderful. He caught up with friends. While walking down a street no one really gave a shit. It felt like heaven.

 

They didn’t talk. They didn’t text and they didn’t mail. They said their good bye and while their hug – very, very, very long hug, still made most of his dreams X rated, he was glad in a way.

 

She sent him a Christmas card though. Real one. So he sent her one back. And she called him at midnight to wish him Happy New Year. So he did as well. It’s not like he had been asleep yet by the time they rang the New Year in on the other side of the pond.

 

Before he knew it he was sitting on a plane to Japan and he was feeling a little jittery. And only small part of it had to do with the prospect of facing masses of screaming fans yet again. He was more afraid of facing her again if he was honest but he tried very hard not to be. It didn’t change a thing though.

 

His fears were somewhat confirmed but in a rather surprising way. Because her looks and smiles and touches were so unguarded the fact he managed not to jump her bones was a statement to self control he didn’t know he possessed.

 

The whole trip was such a surreal experience. He was a little unsure what the time apart might have done to his feelings but it was surprisingly easy to be with her again. Just like the old times. Standing on a stage of a karaoke bar while they sang _their song_ he realized that those previous months didn’t serve anything. Only proved that what he was feeling was deeper and more real then he thought. And despite the glow she remained as unattainable as ever.

 

And then they were kissing again. Sort of. And he was more confused then ever. Because something has changed but not really. There was a shift somewhere but in the end effect it meant nothing. He was still in the exact same position as a year ago except now he had a little hope. He didn’t know what was worse.

 

And then the reality came knocking yet again.

Seeing those photos hurt. It was different to any kind of pain she caused him before. And although he rarely acknowledged it there was plenty. He hasn’t seen her so happy and glowing since, well, since Japan.

Hoping proved to be even more exhausting then admiring from afar and he told her so. Her response – that took a few days to come, took him by complete surprise. She told him to admire from up close and gave him more then just a little hope. She gave him all.

As he sat in a corner booth of a club sipping his beer with her pressed against his side while she softly swung her head to the beat the band on stage played he realized they were dating. It was a long time since he actually dated for real but this definitely qualified. He felt a little stupid for only now realizing it but they didn’t really talk about what they were doing. She just told him she wanted to be with him. And only him. And he said he wanted to be with her. Only her.

 

And that was that.

 

The rest was pretty much the same as before except it wasn’t. Because they were alone. When they went out it was just the two of them. And while she never really respected his personal space – not that he minded, this felt different. Natural. Right. Because now when he put his arm around her shoulders she just looked at him and smiled moving a little closer. He felt like he could fly.

 

After they left the club he walked her to her room and she suddenly seemed nervous.

 

“Do you want to come inside for a while?” she asked his t-shirt.

 

“Yeah.” Like he would decline such an offer, and walked in behind her after she opened the door.

 

She turned on the lights and then turned to him and was startled a little by his proximity. Before he could take a step back to not make her even more uncomfortable – though he had no idea why she was in the first place, she asked him in after all, she smiled at him.

 

“I had a great time. Thank you for the invite.”

 

“The pleasure was all mine.” he smiled back and his hand rose on its own accord cupping her cheek, his thumb caressing the soft flesh.

 

“Not all yours.” She whispered and leaned into the touch her eyes fluttering shut. And he was a goner. Before he could stop himself he leaned down and pressed a soft chaste kiss to her lips.

 

It wasn’t the first time their lips connected and it didn’t even come close to the heavy snogging they did for the camera but it made the world stop and turn the other way round the next second nevertheless. Because it was different. No one told them what to do. No one was watching. No one was telling them to stop. The voice that provided the commentary to their first lip lock purred in content and whispered _This is how it should be_.

 

When he lifted his head and opened his eyes her eyes were still closed and her lips slightly parted. He watched as her eyes slowly opened and the look in them almost knocked him of his feet. Before he could identify it properly she grabbed the lapels of his jacket and yanked him to her molding their lips together.

 

It wasn’t soft and it wasn’t chaste and it wasn’t tentative and it felt like coming to life. Her lips devoured his and he gave as good as he got. Her hands found their way to his hair holding him in place – as if he was going anywhere, while his sneaked around her waist bringing her whole body closer to his.

 

As her tongue asked for and was granted the entrance to his mouth he was sure he never tasted anything as delicious as her. And he was addicted already. He just couldn’t get enough. And apparently she couldn’t either. He lost all concept of time and space, all that existed was her mouth and her hands and her warmth. Their lips didn’t even part so they could suck in the necessary air, they were breathing each other.

 

When he finally came to some of his senses as their lips parted he realized that they somehow managed to stumble and fall on the couch and he was lying on top of her nestled between her thighs. He never wanted to leave.

 

He took in her appearance, flushed, her breathing harsh, not unlike his own, her lips swollen and moist. She never looked more beautiful.

 

They gazed into the others eyes for long moments as his fingers woven into her hair and her hand rubbed up and down his back.

 

He rubbed her nose with his before dragging his lips over her cheek to her ear.

 

“Does this mean you are my girlfriend now?” he whispered barely recognizing his own voice.

 

“You are such a girl.” She exclaimed laughing.

 

“I beg to differ.” He whispered and grounded his hips into hers turning her laughter into a gasp. That made him chuckle and she reiterated by wrapping her legs around his waist leaving him gasping too.

 

Their eyes locked for a moment and she whispered “Boyfriend.”  before her lips sought his again.

 

When he woke up the next morning with her warm body in his arms he felt like everything finally slid into place. The picture was perfect. The world made sense. And he was happy.

 


End file.
